10.30.2017

What I have learned about anxiety

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to teach the adults in our ward from the booklet adjusting to Missionary Life.  This is a topic very dear to my heart.  

Anxiety is something I have dealt with since a child although I was never diagnosed.  I look back and see several red flags.  Unfortunately, no one else did.  It wasn't until I was 37 and laying on an ER table with my heart beating 240 beats a minute that I knew something had to change.  Fortunately, I was blessed with a tender mercy and had what I call my "treadmill epiphany."  A commercial about Generalized Anxiety Disorder came on while I was on the treadmill shortly after my heart surgery,  and I decided that finally this new direction I would get help.

I now take medicine every day.  It is nice to more fully experience joy.  While, I know medication is not the answer for everyone, it was the saving grace for me.  I also exercise daily and I am on a  a gluten free diet.  

My anxiety has a strong genetic origin ( I see my dad, siblings, nieces and nephews, and cousins with anxiety traits also).   It  can also be traced to biological roots (neurotransmitters in my brain are off), psychological trauma (repressed trauma as a child) and environmental stressors.  I am pretty much a text book case. 

 The medicine is not a cure all- I still have my good days and bad days.  The worst part of my anxiety is that it disconnects me somewhat socially- I hate this.  But I guess we can't have it all, right!

I am grateful for the life that is mine, and I am most grateful for the 2nd chance I have at life.  I plan to live it to the fullest- anxiety and all.

Note:
I am including a few notes from my lesson and some great resources I have found as well. 


But there is one who know all of our infirmities –  Jesus Christ- 
 “The more we learn about, have faith in, and emulate Jesus Christ, the more we come to understand that He is the source of all healing, peace, and eternal progress.” Relief Society General President
Have someone read
Isaiah 53
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
¶ Surely, he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

What are stripes?  Discussion- Turn to the Bible dictionary



Why and how do I know this?  Why and how am I here today teaching this lesson?  Let me tell you what my sign would say ( our 30’s two miscarriages, 5th pregnancy husband commuted to Woodscross, GAD, Heart issues, Family members across the board suffer from anxiety, victim of abuse as a child, Husband is self-employed, 4 teenagers, missionary son, son with chronic pain– share my story 6 years ago this week-The Halloween in two years I felt peace since the stroke, it was a joyful evening- then  November 1st- morning run- heart rate 240 beats a minute, ER, my heart stopped, begged the doc to save me- 5 small kids at home ambulance to St. George, 3 days in the hospital, ventricular ablation- idiopathic ventricular tachycardia- I was 37 years old. Why?

“My journey to my treadmill epiphany”
*I don’t ever want to be on the ER table again.

Ward council story- Stake President has asked that the resource to Adjusting to Missionary Life be shared with the entire stake- Take out the word Missionary and it says Adjusting to Life-  The youth are being taught this same lesson today by the bishopbric. The focus of the lesson is Wellness and increasing our ability to handle stress or at least making us more aware of how stress effects us and those around us.

 As a mother of five and the one who works with your youth, I felt strongly that everyone be given the same message- hopefully as to increase conversation.  So that all of us can begin to talk about Mental illnesses and feelings in general-



Have every fourth person stand up and stay standing
One in four people in the world will be affected by mental illness at some point in their lives. More than 16 million U.S. adults had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.

Let us put away our preconceived ideas, our judgment of individuals, of therapy, and of medication

“The world is in need of your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”

What Causes Mental Illness?
Although the exact cause of most mental illnesses is not known, it is becoming clear through research that many of these conditions are caused by a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors -- not personal weakness or a character defect -- and recovery from a mental illness is not simply a matter of will and self-discipline.
  • Heredity (genetics): Many mental illnesses run in families, suggesting they may be passed on from parents to children through genes. Genes contain instructions for the function of each cell in the body and are responsible for how we look, act, think, etc. However, just because your mother or father may have or had a mental illness doesn't mean you will have one. Hereditary just means that you are more likely to get the condition than if you didn't have an affected family member. Experts believe that many mental conditions are linked to problems in multiple genes -- not just one, as with many diseases -- which is why a person inherits a susceptibility to a mental disorder but doesn't always develop the condition. The disorder itself occurs from the interaction of these genes and other factors -- such as psychological trauma and environmental stressors -- which can influence, or trigger, the illness in a person who has inherited a susceptibility to it.
  • Biology: Some mental illnesses have been linked to an abnormal balance of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or are not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms of mental illness. In addition, defects in or injury to certain areas of the brain also have been linked to some mental conditions.
  • Psychological trauma: Some mental illnesses may be triggered by psychological trauma suffered as a child, such as severe emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; a significant early loss, such as the loss of a parent; and neglect.
  • Environmental stressors: Certain stressors -- such as a death or divorce, a dysfunctional family life, changing jobs or schools, and substance abuse -- can trigger a disorder in a person who may be at risk for developing a mental illness.
  •  


Refer to the Booklet pages 5-10- Read and share highlighted portions


Coach Potter- Read “ What’s wrong with me?”  How Steve Young played through anxiety?”

The Savior loves each of His Father’s children. He fully comprehends the pain and struggle that many experience as they live with a broad range of mental health challenges. He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; . . . [taking] upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people” (Alma 7:11; emphasis added). He suffered “the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children” (2 Nephi 9:21; see also Hebrews 4:15–16).
Our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships can be severely affected by mental health challenges or mental illness. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us: “If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient” (“Like a Broken Vessel,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2013, 41).


How can we help? Recognize, educate, talk- DO!
Booklet- General Principles for Managing Stress
Pages 17-22-  
Group Activity- Breathing exercise page 18
What are some of the effects if we don’t help our youth with their anxiety?
Addictions- pornography, vaping, pain meds,
Enabling of disorder to take over their lives- no scout camp, girls camp, youth conference,

Where do we go from here? aRE WE GOING TO SIMPLY CATCH A FISH FOR OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN OR ARE WE GOING TO TEACH THEM HOW TO FISH?
mIGHT i SUGGEST WE HAVE A COPY OF THIS BOOKLET IN OUR HOME- BY OUR SCRIPTURES- SOMETHING VERY EFFECTIVE IN OUR HOME IS THAT EACH CHILD HAS HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRESENT ONE OF THE REMAINING SECTIONS FOR fhe- THE TITLES INCLUDE RESOURCES FOR MANAGING PHYSICAL DEMANDS,eMOTIONAL dEMANDS, sOCIAL dEMANDS, iNTELLECTUAL dEMANDS,AND  SPIRITUAL DEMANDS


iN CLOSING HAVE VOLUNTEERS READ THE FOLLOWING:
3 Nephi 17
Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will healthem, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.
For I perceive that ye desire that I should show unto you what I have done unto your brethren at Jerusalem, for I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you.
And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.

Mosiah 18
And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life


Mosiah 4
27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

Thomas S. Monson. “Shall I falter, or shall I finish” T

Elder Eyring- “may we each choose to walk with him as he walks with us.


“Old sailing ships had periods when the wind did not blow. They were ‘dead in the water.’ But the wind will return. The sails will fill. You will come into port.” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland




Resource Booklet- Adjusting to Missionary Life
The Church of Jesus Christ mental health website: www.lds.org/mentalhealth
The Standard Works
The Living Christ- The Testimony of the Apostles
Letter- To those affected by my Anxiety- Letter written by my niece
LDS Living:  16 tips for Helping Children suffering from anxiety and depression by Madeline Tolk
Facing Anxiety by Eric B. Murdock, Church Magazines
LDS Living, BYU QB Tanner Mangum shares his struggle with anxiety and depression
Article: “What’s Wrong with me?  How Steve Young played through Anxiety- excerpt from his book Behind the Spiral
LDS Living, Avoiding Church Won’t Help Your Anxiety by Kari Ferguson
LDS Living, One Insight That Made all the Difference in My battle Against Depression by Danielle B. Wagner
Six Ways to Help a Friend with Anxiety from an article by Lyle J. Burrup, LDS Family Service
That Your Joy may be full, By Jean B. Bingham, October 2017
Songs Sung and Unsung, by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2017
Let Him Do It With Simplicity, by Elder L. Tom Perry


10.24.2017

Bronson and Monique's wedding


When I was in the 8th grade my oldest brother Kim brought home his fiance, Sofia, who was then attending BYU. Sofia was born and raised in Mexico. 
 Sofia shared my room with me that weekend.  I couldn't stop asking her questions about Mexico.  I am sure I was most annoying, but I was intrigued!  I had my goals set on world travel and I dreamed of one day being a diplomat.  She was a living, breathing textbook, and she most patient with me. She was also very close to the spirit.  I was immediately drawn to this.  My family while strong in the gospel wasn't exactly your everyday scripture reading Mormons.  In fact , we struggled sharing spiritual things.  But Sofia she was different.  I learned so much from her example.
 Kim and Sofia had met while serving  in the Houston, Texas mission.  I instantly adored Sofia, loved her, and wanted to be like her.  She was a good sport to take on our huge brood as the now oldest sibling.  

Now, the Weavers are a curious bunch-somewhat awkward, loud, very forthwith their thoughts (me included), and lacking in social mores.  It must have been most difficult for Sofia. Her culture was so different- gracious, warm, and loving.  Now that I too have gone through 23 years of being an in-law, I have greater insight into just how patient and kind she was to all of us.


Last Friday, Sofia and Kim's oldest son, Bronson was married to Monique in the Salt Lake Temple.  It was a lovely ceremony and they are a stunning couple.  As we met Monique's family in the waiting room, I was reminded of Kim and Sofia's wedding in the Mesa Temple.  So many feelings of warmth and love exuded from Monique's family.  Much like Sofia's family that day in June not so long ago.  Much like Monique's family also, Sofia's family welcomed  us with open arms.  I felt like not only did I gain another sister, but another family as well!

I was a sophomore in high school when Bronson was born- he was the first grandchild, my first nephew, and we all were instantly in love with him! I bought him the coolest train for his first Christmas, took him on his first elephant ride, and even to Disneyland (Sofia was most trusting- not sure I would have been). 
 I cried when my brother Kim made Bronson keep rollerblading when he kept falling down time after time.  I stood back and mumbled not the nicest things about Kim under my breath.  He told me he was teaching his son to be tough! 


 It was amazing to witness the sealing of Monique and Bronson.  I loved being in the temple with 5 of my six siblings and their spouses.  It was heaven, it was healing, and it was happy.  

Thanks Monique and Bronson for allowing us to be a part of your special day!  Thanks Kim and Sofia for raising such great children, and for teaching me some tough lessons. Thanks mom and dad for giving me the gift of family.  You know, my family like most don't exactly have it altogether, but together we have it all!

Caleb, Ana, and Jared- love these three


Ember, Travis, Markay, and Rick



My sistas- Heather, Wendy, Ember and Sofia



Travis and Markay

Chris, Rick, and Wendy

10.21.2017

Wish I had me a pause button


"At eighteen turned my helmet in and walked to the fifty yard line. It's just the coach and me after we had lost eighteen to nine.  And I cried man next time I'm here I'll have to buy a ticket.  Can't you give me five more minutes."




Dear Stockton,
 "Wish I had me a pause button, moments like these Lord knows I'd hit it!"
Next year when the leaves turn colors and begin to fall from the trees, I will miss the "Friday night lights" on the Falcon field.  I will miss being on the sidelines feeling the rhythm of the game while clicking pics, I will miss the sound of the fans and the image of Dad in the field watching your every move!  I will most definitely miss my little boy grown tall. But I will not "cry because it is over, I will smile because it happened."

This season did not go as you or any of us wanted, but you have learned that life is like that.You didn't even know until August 1 if you would be able to take the field, but you did it Stock.  You defied all of the nay sayers and while you were not taking the field at QB, you took the field.  Your "grit" and indomitable spirit carried you through.

As a kindergartner you made me run drills with you before you went to school- everyday! You had to get it right- you ran fast.  The first time you played football you caught the ball and ran for a touchdown.  I will never forget that image of your white hair flapping in the wind.  Raising you has most definitely been an adventure and a  beautiful blessing.  

I love you Stockton.  I could not be more proud of who who have become. You most definitely have been made stronger through the refiner's fire.  Wherever your pathway takes you, I will pray for you, and I will cherish the moments of watching you grow, shine, and become stronger. 

I love you Stockton.  You will forever be my BTF and for always my little boy! 
#forever35


Love,
Mom

10.16.2017

A letter to Mi hijo-- recapping a weekend of service and memories

Mi hijo,

Elder Rigby, Seleck, I just got in from my morning run.  I felt like a kid again running through the leaves- I love the sound of the leaves crackling underfoot.  I even paused and grabbed a handful of leaves and threw them up in the air and let them fall on top of me.  The air is fresh and beautiful out,  and I feel refreshed from a wonderful weekend of service and making memories.  

I spent Thursday chasing a story in Leeds at the CCC Camp there.  I loved this wander and enjoyed the solitude as I was not rushed and could wander freely.  I then headed to St. George and enjoyed lunch with cousin Alex Walter.  She is going to spruce up my blog a bit- loved spending time with she and her son Ben!

Friday, I caught up on my mother "To Do's" and dropped by the Color run at the school.  Maleck absolutely loved it! He is the third one out of the gate- finished first overall he said even beat some of the students in the previous classes- our family is not competitive at all are we?


Friday evening we headed to Parowan for some chinese food and a drive down historic Main Street for their annual scarecrow festival.  I absolutely loved it and daddy was kind enough to indulge me and my camera.










Afterwards we headed to Paragonah and the Judd Pumpkin Patch.  It was awesome.  I love the memories we have here with you kids.  I love that Madsen wasn't to cool to hang with us!  Unfortunately, Emma and Stockton had already made plans with friends.


                        My M&M Boys- Maleck and Madsen 


Saturday was a great day.  It began early with a run to the temple from CVMS with Emma's Cross Country team.  I have so loved helping coach these kids this year!  They have truly learned to do hard things- love them all to the moon!





After the team temple run, the young women in our ward made 125 stockings for the homeless children in Iron County School District.  We have 25 more to go.  The Young Men are helping us fill them with Christmas cheer.  I love my young women's calling- the girls are super amazing!  












That evening we threw an end of season party for the cross country runners at the shop and watched the movie Macfarland- It's about a cross Country team in the Spanish community of Macfarland, California- we loved it!

And then of course it was home and off to bed so we could rise and conclude with the grand finale of the weekend....
Meeting this guy- Elder Gabe Najarian.  It was totally the next best thing to hugging you.  We were so sad daddy couldn't be with us because of a speaking engagement and Maleck wanted to stay for the primary program.  Mi hijo, it was totally worth the drive.  We left Cedar City at 9 am and arrived in SLC at 12:30 (we had to be back home by 6:30 for the encampment court of honor).  We listened to his amazing talk (I will send you my notes in a letter) and then spoke with him following the meeting.  We took him an SUU shirt.  We are hoping to recruit him down our way.  He got all teary eyed when he spoke of working with you in Brewster and in Hood River.  Man, he loves you.  He says you are going to be his Best Man at his wedding!  He promised to come see us in CC town- he better.  Dad can't wait to meet him.

So, Seleck, we have a pretty blessed life.  While we are sad you weren't with us, (we always are) we appreciate your sacrifice in serving the Lord.  Although your path is not always easy, this is the place for you right now as you are being tutored by the Lord's hand.  It doesn't matter where you serve mi hijo- just that you do!

I pray you will enjoy the sunshine today in Toppenish.  As always, I am excited to receive your letter.  

Go Speed Mi hijo and remember to laugh along the way!

Love always,
Mama!